A Change of Pace

I've said it before. But you readers know me. I always like to repeat myself.

It's a change. A massive change in not just my life, but everyone else. Everyone of the same age, I mean.

It's normal, I guess. An average Form 5 student graduates from school after completing his SPM examinations, and enters the world of pre-adulthood. Still immature, uneven on the edges, but very, very close to being a full-fledged adult.

That, folks, is where the change happens. And I must tell you, it is quite a big change. I applaud to some, who managed to just go through the transition with ease. And I am sympathetic with those who have a hard time growing used to that change.

Because, obviously, I'm one of those people. Poor, poor souls who miss the old life in school uniforms, the rag-tag freedom of feeling unoccupied with nothing but schoolwork, and that nagging, somehow ironic thought of ''can't wait when I'm done with school--''

But now, thinking about it again, I'll have to call myself a hypocrite.

Exactly one year ago, I saw that ''change'' in one of my school's former Head Prefects; Yie Hahn. Always suited up, always ready, always alert in his school days. Then, after leaving school and returning for a short visit, I saw a remarkable change in his exterior: unshaven face, baggy eyes, normal attire for an office worker and maybe the sluggish body movement of a drunkard. I'm not saying he ended up bad; no, but it seemed that the change hit him quite hard.

I scoffed at the thought. That would never happen to me, I thought. And of course I was wrong.

I went to my old school the other day. I had no beard, not even a shadow of it. But with my work shirt, a bagpack with my camera gear inside and that irritating green pass ''Pas Pelawat'' pinned on my breast pocket-- I saw the younger 'uns looked at me as I have looked upon Yie Hahn one year ago.

The change had hit me.

You get older, you get wiser. New friends gained, old friends drift away. New paths which you have to clear for yourself and ultimately, the choice of doing what is wrong and what is right in the world.

I can't bloody change even if I'm in the ''change'' phase. A change of pace, folks. It's a change of pace.