I'd Stay in the Middle

This week... the first week of the second semester... what was thought to be a full-scale attack on my mountains of notes and homework... turned out to be a regular task of cleaning my camera, transferring photos, and trying to survive in the small opening between two major clubs which have been rivals ever since before World War I.

Yes, I am talking about the infamous and glamour Interact Club, and the honourable-than-thou Leo Club.

I'd like to point out that both clubs are great, and I really like both of 'em. Tho I am leaning a bit towards the Leo Club. Sorry, Interactors.

Throughout the entire week I've been performing last-minute miracles with undone reports for the Editorial Board, and capturing pictures of Annual General Meetings of both Interact and Leo. Yesterday I kept jumping from the Interact AGM to the Leo AGM (one AGM was in 4 Adil, while the other was in 3 Jejarum).
Put a fat guy in front of countless flights of stairs, and you get a miracle if the fat guy survives when he's done with them.

Despite all that running and puffing and almost ripping my underpants when I tripped at the canteen stairs, I'm glad I'm involved with these clubs (tho unofficially) because I get to delve into these clubs' histories, and their senior and more experienced world-class parent organisations, the Rotary International and the Lions Club International.

Though I am perplexed with their goals and causes. To me, they're almost the same. Aren't both of these clubs formed ages ago to help the community? Yes, different perspectives and mottos, but their agenda and methods are similar. Presidents, Sectaries, and even their International Understanding days (some Leo Clubs prefer it to be called International Relations to avoid confusion) which always are held to contribute to charity!

Yet there exists a rift between these clubs. Try mentioning the Leo Club in an Interact meeting (at least in SMK SAS) and the members will boo.

And since I am the neutral party here (being a photographer for both clubs' past events) I have to be honest. There are some flaws which don't usually mind the members of each club. Some will notice, but they'll shrug it off sooner or later.

Needless to say, the Interact Club flourishes with members. Their membership database, compared to the Leo Club, is admittedly impressive and usually beats memberships in all other clubs (scouts, dance club, chess club, etc.) . Their events and charity concerts always attract large crowds, Interactors, Leos, and even those who wish to be none (like moi). But when it comes to goals and causes, it is the Interact Club's greatest weakness. External significances such as the glamor, popular friends, parties and concerts and statuses are the real magnets for newcomers to join the Interact Club. There was once a time where the Interact Club was indeed fun and noble, but as the century chips away, the members enjoy more of the fun instead on focusing on the honour that was once bound to the club.

Am I lying? Sorry, folks. Take a look at Sri Aman's Interact IU. The performances were indeed for a noble cause; human trafficking. But due to the organisers' heavy mention on women and children being sold as sex slaves, aided by some uncontrollable hormones of several in the audience, the event itself was a shame to Interacts all around the world. Not to forget, the after party which all the attendees agreed was 'the highlight of Sri Aman's IU' instead of the message that was trying to be conveyed. Heavy drinking and such continued in the after party.

Just bear with me; I am trying to be fair here.

Enter the Leo Club, its symbol is the mighty lion, which shows courage and valor. Leo itself stands for Leadership, Experience and Opportunity. The reason I favour the Leos a tiny bit more than the Interacts is because that though the club has a smaller membership, and lesser independent events (most Leo events are joint projects with other schools' Leo Clubs), the Leo Club hasn't lost sight of its original focus, to provide the youthful with chances to improve the world. They have stayed true to the Lions Club International motto, 'We Serve'. Yet, there is one small flaw that puts the Leo Club in the same disdain position as the Interacts.

In the Leo Club of SMK SAS, racial integrity is almost at lost. Most of its members are of only one race, and a small portion of another race. The last race which describes 1Malaysia is not present, therefor breaking the illusion of racial harmony of the Leo Club. Other Leo Clubs have the same problem as well and like one of my Leo friends said, ''At the forum, mostly all the Leos from other schools were Chinese.''

These two clubs are actually excellent proteges of the major organisations. But if they can fix those small little problems, they can excel and move forward with more confidence attracting more members for their causes.

Personally, I think it'd be better if the Interacts and Leos merged their clubs together. Sure, there would be a riot and such, but if everyone just gave it a chance, there might be a possibility that they can succeed.

Interacts and Leos; you've been helping people a lot. How about a change, and you help yourselves out this time around?

Thanks for visiting, folks.

(This is a response to Hui Jan's post of Sri Aman's IU, Breaking the Silence)

The Insane, the Supernatural and the Reporter

I don't know what I'm doing; I just updated yesterday! But this interesting fact I've discovered today about my dad really made my day. This one's for you, Dad.

So, have you guys ever heard of Mona Fandey? She was a Malaysian pop singer, but when her attempt at national popularity failed, she became a bomoh (local shaman), offering services to supernatural-fanatic clients. Soon, aided (or misguided) by her insanity, Mona Fandey became a murderess, after she committed a gruesome act of murder.

Yeap, that's Mona Fandey. Crazy black magic witch.

Her horrific acts included dismembering the victim's body into 18 body parts after the husband (also a loony) chopped off his head with an axe. The victim was also partially skinned and his remains were kept in Mona Fandey's basement.

The victim was a political figure who wanted Mona's service, believing Mona's connection with the spiritual world would gain him political immortality. The operative word here is political. Mr. Immortal Politician gave Mona and her husband a deposit of RM500000 and 10 land titles (the amount that Mona demanded was RM2.5 million for the service).

During the ritual, out of crazy reasons, Mona and her husband murdered Mr. Immortal Politician and hid his body. They proceeded to spend the money on a Mercedes-Benz and Mona got herself a facelift.

How nice.

Which wasn't quite wise, because later the police tracked Mr. Dead Politician's tracks back to Mona and after a look at her finance account, they concluded that Mona Fandey was indeed responsible for Mr. Dead Politician's disappearance.

Mona Fandey and her husband were finally apprehended and a publicized trial was on its way. Of course, the couple was deemed guilty and sentenced to death by hanging.

Out of all the articles I've read, they always mentioned Mona's strange behavior near the end. Though she was faced with death, Mona was smiling all the way, posing for photographers and seconds before she was hanged, she commented;

''Aku takkan mati. (I shall never die).''

Creepy, eh? This leaves a gap of uncertainty, especially for the supernatural fanatics.

When my dad was in his prime, a journalist for The Star, he was one of the reporters who followed the investigation closely. Though my dad refused to comment much on the subject, he did admit that he was there when the police apprehended the culprits and when they raided the insane couples' home, where they not only found Mr. Dead Politician's mutilated remains, but weird items which included preserved human body parts in jars.

My dad quit his job right when the trials started, deciding to start a business on his own.

My mom said when Mona Fandey was on the loose, she threatened that all those who were involved in the investigation, their families will be at mortal peril. That curse is done now, since Mona is... well, dead.

Yes, the story is very dark and not much humorous, but I applaud my dad for taking part in an investigation which captured the most vile murderess in the history of Malaysia. Job well done, dad.

Thanks for visiting!

Maddie's in Moscow, I Love Illegal Networks, and School is Cool

Due to Miss Jacie Tan Cheng Hwee's nagging, I am obliged to post another update on my god-forsaken blog. Then it occured to me, that nothing interesting actually happened during the holidays, other than the outings, which I've already posted up.

So... what should I blog about today?

Nothing, eh?

Guess I'll bore you with unexciting details then.

Maddie has gone on a trip to Russia to visit her brother and won't be back for a week. We all really miss her, but Imp the most (Imp's the guy in 5B, with the long nose and the squarish, sharp jaw line). I've sent her an SMS saying we're all glad that she arrived there safely, after she SMS'ed Imp, saying she touch-downed in Moscow. Imp strong-armed her to do it. Poor girl. Rates in Russia aren't actually cheap. Well, it's his head.

If you kept up with my Facebook status updates, you'd know that I'm currently obsessed with thepiratebay.org, and yes, it's an illegal network which houses billions of unofficial torrents for god knows how many media items on the net and in the world. Yes, I know we've all been warned not to download illegal items off the net, but let's face it, who wants to pay a RM100 for a one-season, thirteen-episode DVD when you can wait a day while your BitTorrent program downloads it? It's the same with DVD piracy in Malaysia, and that's why it's still going strong. And it's not just movies I'm downloading. Over the past few weeks, I've discovered ancient issues of forgotten comic books, which are almost impossible to acquire nowadays. But again, with thepiratebay.org... need I say more?

I'm sure DRS can support me there. Eh, Daniel?

And oh, who can forget school? A place where a thousand or more students are huddled together, and subjected to long hours of lessons, with the occassional laugh or giggle, but mostly trying to stifle yawns while the teachers drill their brains with facts that might be useful in their future. Some might find this fun, and interesting. I don't blame them. They must have boring lives at home and being at school is the tiniest bit of fun they can get.

I'm joking. Going to school is good. And if you like it, you're gonna have a bright future.

And I thought I was a prefect.

I'm at the end of my tale and I have some photos to sort. 6019 photos, in fact. Taking up most of my laptop hard disk. But no problem. Recently bought a 500GB external hard disk and I must say, it's more useful than the measly 2GB, 4GB, 8GB, 16GB, 32GB pendrives. And it has an internal fan!

Bye, readers!

Happy now, Jacie?

I'm Not Half-Boiled Anymore!

I have two things to blog about today. The first, would be about Puan Maha’s farewell party which happened yesterday. The second, is my birthday celebration at Sunway Pyramid, happened today, just a few hours ago.

Let’s start with Puan Maha’s party. The party was at 2.30PM, at a northern Indian cuisine restaurant (I think) in Sect 14 going by the name House of Pakeeza. Weird name, nice food. And we all know (well, those who do know me) how much I adore food. Especially good food. It was a fancy, quiet place. Atmosphere was quite pleasant. We all sat down and ate nasi briyani, mutton, tandoori chicken (with some green paste which I know wasn’t wasabi but tasted great anyway) and papadums. Ah, fresh papadums. And they kept piling up on them salty crackers. Puan Maha related to us some funny stories while we ate and laughed. One included on Aaron (2008-2009 Head Prefect) discovering his interest in photography by taking pictures of girls at public places.

Then came the photo session. Ishaq, Aqeemul and I brought our cameras which everybody played with them (Jiunn Jie tinkered around with Ishaq’s, mine was reserved by Hui Jan, and Aqeemul’s was passed around like a rental). One-on-one with Puan Maha, single session, group gender photos, and one that included Khairul blocking Puan Maha in one gigantic hug. Go fat guys! Whoop!

Presents were… well, unique. Girls got Puan Maha a makeshift tiara. Chee Hoe got her a scythe. The scythe did emphasise her manner as a Grim Reaper… and me, Ishaq and Herman pooled our money to buy her a disco ball! Puan Maha was grateful, thanking us for it being ‘big’. Yeah, and we told anyone who asked that Herman donated the ball.

The bill situation was fun too, though I won’t talk about that tale too much. But in the end, it was all manageable. And guess what? Puan Maha still had one more week of staying here after the holidays before she leaves for Sabah. Another great whoop!

Pictures will be at my Facebook page under the album Lawgiver’s Farewell.

What? I wanted a nice name for the album.

Anyway…

Thanks to Maddie Tsl and Yap Ee Leng, two of my close buds, they have pushed me to orchestrate my birthday celebration. Yes, everyone had fun, but let it be known, I am such a terrible planner. The only get-togethers I can organise is a get-together-alone.

Yeah, that was a good one right there, wasn’t it??

So, guest list was 11 people. Actually there were more, but couldn’t make it. It’s okay, fellas, I had a nice time. Just sorry you couldn’t come.

Arrived at Sunway Pyramid at 10.20AM, thanks to Felix (he can DRIVE). On the way, we got a lil bit lost and some minor swearing, accidental mind you, because I messed up my letters in the words ‘’Parking Fee’’. So me, Maddie, Imran and Felix.

While Imran tended to his girlfriend, also a guest on my list, me, Maddie and Felix met up with Ee Leng. Bought movie tickets too for the 1.30PM showtime of the A-Team. Then began the hunt for my clothes. Maddie (acting like the big sister I never had, or worse, my mom) wanted to get me new clothes since she said I looked horrible in hoodies.

I love hoodies. Love. Hoodies.

In the end I got a shirt bearing the words, ‘’I’M A VIRGIN (This is a very old T-shirt)’’. The trend was not new, but I loved it. Thanks Maddie.

Then we met up with Ishaq (enjoying hot chocolate outside Starbucks), Afiq and Sofiah and Tharini! Maddie wanted to get Tharini a dress too, but I didn’t see what she bought. Too busy looking at the guitar pick that Ishaq bought for me with the laughing skull. Loved it, man.

After a few more hours of walking around Sunway, talking, making jokes (Afiq insulted Felix; something about cats) then it was time for the movie! That was my first mess-up! There were 11 people! But ta-da, I bought ten tickets.

Me, being noble (or foolish, like the others called it), let myself be left out and let the others watch. But when Ee Leng SMS’ed me, saying there were a lot of vacant seats, me, being sneaky, sneaked through the cinema exit door, entered the theatre and watched the A-Team for free. Yeah, I was a couple of seats away from the gang. But hey, it was FREE!

The A-Team was awesome. Coolest movie ever. The action, humour, drama were all mixed in one blockbusting margarita. Don’t forget the explosions. Gotta love ‘em. And the part where the tank flew out of the sky, landing in some poor German fisherman’s pond, cheating by killing fish with dynamite.

After the movie, we had trouble finding lunch. Lala’ed here, lala’ed there, and finally settled at a place called Sakae Sushi. Nice place, nice food, amazing prices. Amazingly pricey.

Ate, laughed, and almost panicked when Afiq wanted to order a Sake bottle which cost RM25.90. Price wasn’t so bad. Heh.

Ishaq and Felix had to go early. Thanks dudes, glad you two came! Imran and his girlfriend resumed dating, I didn’t mind. Go on, have fun! It is my birthday! Ee Leng had to go too after lunch. Aaw. Thanks, sister! Afiq went to buy more movie tickets because he wanted to watch Karate Kid with his sister. So me, Azim, Tharini and Sofiah went to archery. I messed up again, almost killing a guy when my arrow bounced off. Sorry, sir. My bad. But I got one in the middle. Ehem. Bull’s eye. And that’s no bullshit.

Soon, Azim had to leave. Thanks for coming, Carrots! Then Imran and his girl had to leave. I say. Well, it was fun having you both here! Afiq mysteriously disappeared. Suspected he went to the arcade because the cinema was near to the arcade.

So I was the only guy with Maddie, Sofiah and Tharini! Lucky me! We went to the Coffee Bean and the first hour was fun when Tharini developed some foam-mustache from her cappuccino. Then Sofiah did some weird experiments with the leftovers. Turned it semi-solid, semi-liquid. And for the next hour, the girls talked about boys, while I sank lower beneath the table. There was something about whales having intercourse resulting in the salt level in the sea. Okay, I’m terrified.

Too soon when everything had to come to an end. Maddie and I had to go home because she left her chocolate for Happy Father’s Day at Imran’s freezer for safekeeping (that’s a story for another time). Said our goodbyes, hugged and pounded knuckles with everyone and off to home with a taxi. Dropped by Imran’s place for the choc, his maid was so nice, and then walked back to my place, where Maddie’s dad was waiting to pick her up. One more goodbye and here I am in front of the laptop typing it out.

Extraordinary. Hope you all had fun, because I did. The whole outing was… what’s the word for it? Hui Jan, do you have a word that can somehow explain this very euphoric feeling? Well, if you do, then that’s the word. To those who don’t know, ask her.

Thank you, Maddie, Ee Leng, Azim, Ishaq, Felix, Afiq, Sofiah, Tharini, Imran and Illyana! Thanks for looking up the word, too, Hui Jan!

Thank you all for making my breakthrough from half-boiled teenager to 17-YEAR-OLD half- boiled teenager into something *insert Hui Jan’s word here*! Thank you!

Thanks for visiting! WHOOP!

The Prologue

A couple of hours before Puan Maha's farewell party. To those who are clueless, Puan Maha is my school's discipline teacher. And the prefectorial board teacher advisor.

And to those clueless people, yes, I am a prefect. Unbelievable eh?

I was chatting with an old friend the other day. And when I told her I was on the right side of the law (sort of) as opposed to my days in Perak, she went;

'That's amazing! I mean, you used to diss them!'

To which I happily replied...

'Well, if you can't beat em, join em!''

Which all brings back memories of my days as a newbie in the very, very different SMK Sultan Abdul Samad. For one, the prefects are quite... how to say.... brutal face first. Well, prefects at my old school were brutal too, but somehow SMK Sultan Abdul Samad's prefects are more like organized-brutal.

''If the student has touched or in any way assaulted you, you may punch him in the face OR kick him in the balls. Executing both counter-attacks may result in your suspension from the Prefectorial Board.''

Well, they don't have that in the rule book, but if they did, I'd be pretty happy. But more or less, it's like that.

So the real question is... how did I come from hating prefects... to love being one of them? Was it the suit? The power? The less-restricting leash of school rules we have on us? (personally, I like the uniform. Blazers are hot. Hot, I tell you.)

What could I say? I signed up when they were recruiting newbies for a joke. For a joke. And then I saw the whole structure of the prefects. The way they were intergrated into the school, the amount of just power they exert on the students and the automatic image you receive from school faculty by just being a prefect. And I was starstruck.

So I worked my ass off as a junior recruit. Wasn't easy. But it was worth it.

Then after almost year serving under the lawkeepers' organisation, I saw the grittier, darker and more seclusive nature of the prefects. The way you have to turn and twist and that almost impossible-to-resist itch to join in school politics. That image you received of being a golden role model... you have to uphold it because anyone could break it down even after a small misstep.

But hey, no one said being a prefect was easy. And everyone who knows me will know how I deal with such stuff. Joke around the situation. Student enraged and wants to beat your ass after school? No problem. ''Can we reschedule? I got prefects meeting.'' Superior blaming you for doing something wrong? ''Sorry, I'll try harder next time. By the way, I saw how you *insert an embarassing incident in which your superior was involved* and I'd like to help you with it...''

That's how I deal with it and though it has some minor setbacks in the past, I've gotten through it with sheer-- no, not willpower, but rather wit power.

I've been a prefect for almost two years now. Tiring, yes. Looking forward to retirement? Yes. Not going to miss prefectship? No. I am going to miss it. Yes, sounds lame, but being a prefect has made me a better person. And look how much friends in law enforcement I've made.

It's farewell to Puan Maha and retirement for the Form 5 prefects in a few more weeks. Bye for now!

Bobby Blues

Sorry. I dunno why I said that. So sudden, so out of the blue. So... well, not to say spontaneous. But then again I don't know who to say sorry to.

I got nothing to blog about, actually. And this is sure as hell not a retarded version of Blues' Clues, so no worries.

I've never actually believed in the blues. I mean, what? ''Hey man, what's up?'' ''Oh hi, oh nothing much, just feeling blue,'' ''what the f*ck, is that some sort of disease?''

Oh, ignorant me.

Yeah, once I knew what the blues were, I didn't believe crap out of it. It's not actually feeling sad, and it's not actually feeling like those emo-goths, but the blues were kind of a stand-alone term.

Well, now that I've been infected with such, I came to believe it. I dunno why. There I was, eating a cracker, and whoosh, it came down like rain on me. And the annoying thing is I don't know why I'm feeling so damn blue.

Funny thing is blue is a different meaning with the Brits. ''Oh, feeling blue,'' ''Oh my god, you watch pornography, you bloody fool!'' Oh yeah, I love the way they talk. OK, I'm not gonna go deeper on porno in the UK.

Then I have those self-analysis kind of tests, you know. Asking myself questions in my head. It's like your very own psychiatrist within your consciousness. ''How are we today?'' ''Oh good, good. Can't wait for our session to begin.'' ''Oh and by the way, you left the toilet seat open, Mom's not gonna be happy about that.''

Gosh, what's wrong with me? Lame jokes, man. Lame!

Ehem. Anyway. Started with one question: anything bothering you?

Why, yes.

Do you know why?

No, and if I do, I won't be here talking to myself.

Do you have the smallest of clues of why you are experiencing the blues?

Erm. Sort of. But not sure.

And why so?

Because this is the part where you come in and tell me if I'm right or wrong.

Ah. Care to elaborate your suspicions first?

Well... I think it's girls. But I dunno if that's believable. I mean, I've never had trouble with 'em before...

Until now.

Right. Until now.

Precisely.

So what now?

See, this is why self-psychiatric help is free. Because it only helps you identify the problem. The rest... well, the rest is up to you, dear fellow.

Okay. That was really helpful. Really. But why do you talk with a British accent?

I'm gonna spare details. What goes on in my mind is possibly very disturbing for some. So I've been having those kind of sessions with myself almost everyday. And it ends up with the same thing.

Don't you get it, man? GIRLS! Good grief, get a hold of yourself and do SOMETHING about it!

Well, I was pretty smart to know that it didn't mean I had to go online and check those kind of websites...

So what was it? What was my problem with girls? I don't hate them. No, I admire them. Especially the hot ones. If I weren't lazy, I'd include a picture of me jiggling my eyebrow in a most suggestive way right here.

I don't think they hate me. Do they? I get along fine with them. Always kept my dirty jokes in line with them. Maybe some girls harbor some hatred towards me in a spiritual way? And my spiritual antenna is picking up the backlash of that hate while they hide it behind their faces.

Because let's face it, when girls say something, they mean something else different entirely. It's not like guys. When they say something, they actually mean that. I know you've probably heard of it, but let's just hit that refresh button on the window toolbar...

Guy: I'm gonna watch football.
Real meaning: I'm gonna watch football.

Girl: I prefer to shop at Versace's than Levi's...
Real meaning: Screw Levi's. I wanna shop at Versace's. NOW.

But one thing about girls, well they know how to break someone down gently. While guys can be extremely blunt and hurt someone's feelings, girls can do it gently. I admit girls can do that.

Why the heck am I getting off topic?

Wait. I don't have a topic to begin with anyway.

Maybe I'm being paranoid. I am quite paranoid. But that doesn't justify this, this... blue feeling. Gah.

The conclusion I can come up with from this meaningless rant... after several pointless hours of thinking and more hours of more pointless thinking... when I could've done the dishes, send my prefect blazer to the dry-clean shop or put down the toilet seat...

It all spirals out of control and all down onto my own messed up feelings which I'm relating in a this somehow-very-gay post. I can imagine Ishaq saying, ''Talking about feelings now, are we? Nice. Very gay. Very you.'' Well, just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon...

Is it because of the girl I like? I mean... I've liked her for a long time already. I dated with this hot chick from Perak to get over her. And it didn't actually work out. Broke off after a month. Maybe because long-distance-relationships don't work and because when I'm with that girl, I keep thinking of another face. Boy, Perak girl must hate my guts now.

I'm sorry Perak girl. I won't say your name to protect your interests. I don't want your friends going like, ''Oh, so that's your loser of an ex-boyfriend. Girl, you suck. Why pick a prick like him?''

And to protect my interests too. I don't want your big-bodied brother (I shit you not on that)
coming to my doorstep on a sunny Sunday afternoon with a crowbar and a gang of angry Mexican cholos carrying around Uzi submachine guns.

Anyway, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to use you as a smokescreen, that was so of an asshole of me. I don't think you can stop hating my guts, but just know I am sincerely sorry about it. KL guys ain't that reliable, you know... not actually boyfriend material.

And to that girl I like... well, you'd probably hate my guts too if you knew I was liking you. You're a great girl and I was lucky to know you. No, I'm not gonna reveal names here. That would destroy me somehow and though this girl doesn't have connections with Mexican cholos, I'd really like to bury this one with me.

I really hope I can somehow forget it and move on. And goodness help me, get these blues off me. Get the f... never mind. See ya.