I have a friend. A girl, actually. She's sad. She's sad because she's alone. She wants to be loved. So I'm like sending an SOS here.
Get yo ass here, pronto. Sweep my friend off her feet. Dazzle her with your perfect personality. Make her laugh at your clever jokes. Make her smile. Cheer her up when she cries. Listen to her worries. Be patient with her. Love her, like she'll love you.
Because, you know, I'm tired. Not tired of being her friend, no, never, but tired of seeing her sad because of her lonesomeness. Sure, I can make her laugh once in a while, but I want her to be whole. A real smile everyday. Happy because she's loved. When she's happy, I can finally sit down on a sandy beach with a pina colada in my hand, and just wait for that merry jingle of wedding bells that ought to be hers in a few more years.
She gets the man of her dreams, she's happy. You get a smokin' sensitive chick as your special one, you're happy. I see my best friend happy, I'm happy. We're all happy and can pop open a bottle of non-alcoholic wine.
A very concerned friend.
PS: she makes one helluva buttered chicken dish