The Next Phase

It's been a boring four months. Honestly. I've been rotting at home ever since I took my one month vacation break and I thought it was a bad move, despite the massive amounts of free time. Which of course, led to my downfall... and gain of excess weight.

I have been indulging myself in my hobbies. Went to Genting for a photography competition last week. Sent in an essay for thrills. Watched all TV series known to man. Well, almost all. But really, as 11th of May closes in, I'm getting excited.

College!!

I know, it's probably stale among my mates, as they've started four months ago, but it's still exciting to me. I do feel like I'm the last to join the ranks of tertiary education students , though.

Maddie and Hui Jan joined college in January. Tharini too, I think.

So did Edmund and Joshua.
Ishaq started a week ago.

Even Deric moved to USJ from Sitiawan and is starting this Saturday.
Imran is starting his orientation this Sunday. Mirza's going to the same university with him.

I've got a full two weeks or so before I start mine.

I miss the excitement. I miss the atmosphere. I miss the suspense of catching on to assignments. I miss mingling around people my age worried about almost the same thing! It may be very different from high school, but the concept is there. Studying, finishing projects/assignments. It's just the difficulty is tenfold. And you're fucked if you don't finish any. Heh.

I know some people will probably say, "Heh. You're not missing anything. Wait till you enter college.You'll see."

OK. Let me face it then. I'm not being over-confident here. I just want the thrills. And I hate being left out. Really.

Gay? So what?

See, when my mom told me about this, I've been thinking long and hard on how I should view this. The whole idea stemmed from the concept of being too free-minded. Youngsters, given the chance to express themselves, and when they take the road that's not considered "normal" by the masses, an issue arises. In this case.... effeminate boys and their tendencies which led to the opening of this boot camp by the Terengganu education department. Well done, boys.

It's more stupid than when Rebecca Black decided to compose "Friday".

I am Muslim, I cannot stress this enough, and I have been taught, ever since I was a foetus, that going the opposite way in sexual identity is plain, hell-deserving, sin-blasted, wrong. If you're a boy, you are a boy. Enough said.

I can think for myself, however. And I certainly don't agree with the "gay boot camp". You do not throw a feminine boy inside a controlled environment and shove instant manhood down their throats. I have an uncle who lives in Singapore, and he has female tendencies. Yes, he speaks with a homosexual flair, walks like one of Heidi's models and even carries a handbag to work! But you know what? He's married to a hot woman from Johor and he has three kids. How's that for effeminate, eh?

The problem we all have, a natural trait of the human race, is that we like to look at a person crooked when their personality is not deemed normal. Thus the stereotyping, the labeling and god-knows racial issues. We point and point, and whisper behind our hands at other people who seem different.

People who know me might actually scoff at this post right now. I have a tendency to hate gays, yes? I do that for jokes. I respect effeminate boys for who they are and I don't condemn them for what they choose. Yes, I poke fun at them but I have no reason for them to disappear from the face of the earth.

The Terengganu education department made a stupid attempt at trying to tone down the rise of effeminate boys. People should be given reign on what they decide, regardless of race and religion. No one has the right to condemn another just because of the choices they make. Perhaps we have the right to punish small evils in this world, but establishing an odd sexual identity is certainly none of those things. Leave 'em alone.

So, go ahead, the extremist Malays and Muslims who read this post. Condemn me for what I think. Call me a free-thinker. Call me blasphemous. Call me a... non-Muslim?

Funny thing is, Muslims respect other people for who they are. Condemn me, and I promise you, minds that work like yours will throw the human race back into the bloody stone age.

And to the "gay" boys who went to the camp... good for you for making new friends. That plan certainly went well.

Stupid Malays.

An Epic Tragedy

Why the fuck am I feeling so poetic? Oh well!

You know, you know, I remember
once, when I walked down the corridor of my old school
And I saw this chap
He looked at me, and gave a clap,

"HO! Hey," he cried
"wanna hear a story?"

A bloke who favoured skipping class
I didn't pass

"So, there might be people listening, or might read this, because I wrote it down,

and you wanna know what I call it?"

"What, dude?" I inquired

"The Epic Tragedy!
See?"

"So there was a boy.

A young, scruffy-looking ruffian

came to a new place

So strange, so alien to him
so what did he do?

He rebelled against the new environment
He became mean
He became rude
He joined the nasty riders of envy
He was the enemy of many

The ruffian felt good
at first
Power and fear, they were his allies
But then, when break of the year came,
he was alone
in his own world

no friends

but his own power and fear

and that loneliness brought him the first tear

of shame

and regret

When dawn of the new year came,
he was quiet

subdued

and his evil compatriots left him

"he's probably dead, dude,"

said they amongst themselves

but like every book, every Hollywood movie, every piece of literature,

someone came to alight him of his plight

a girl

in such a beautiful light

the ruffian thought she was an angel

and an angel I'm led to believe she was

a beauty that no mortal can pass
without inhaling sharply
a heart that glowed like the lava
in the forsaken volcanoes in the LOTR series

she mended his broken head

treated his guilty soul

and gave him a reason to live

the life which was so young!

the angel-we-all-thought-she-was-but-really-was-exaggerated-for-the-sake-of-the-story,

while she healed her companion

she didn't know
he fell for her

as hard as ridiculous this story is,

that's how hard he fell

but of course, fate was funny, in a funny sort of funny way,
as fate liked to make puppets dangle on her fingers from their strings

so like a terrible contestant in Britain's Got Talent,

he danced and danced around the angel-he-thought-she-was,

unaware that fate was making a joke about him

"So there was this one ruffian..."

I'm sorry, man, one of the reasons

this story is called the Epic Tragedy

is because it is a tragedy!

can't you see?
He, yes, he!

He finds out that she doesn't return his feelings

in a cold, hard truth sort of way
like when Luke Skywalker found out Darth Vader was his father
(NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)"

"But but but, you crazy bastard," I protested
"why is it epic? It's like any other love story I've heard.
Epic, my foot."

"It is epic, my chubby class-skipper,"

he almost jumped, crying
"because the ruffian did not run and cower

when the truth was laid in front of him

The pretty lil tenshi (angel in Japanese) revered love

and set forward to find her own

without knowledge of the ruffian's affections

But the ruffian did not stop her, like a jealous zealot would

no, you fatty, you know what the ruffian did?"

"WHAT?!" I shouted. "Summoned Aslan? Found the seventh Hocrux? Destroyed the Vulgari?
What, man, WHAT?!"

"He became her sword.
He took his own heart, knowing it would be of no use,

fashioned a sword

and defended her from evils and danger.

In memory, he was the ruffian

whose evil drowned with him

and was healed by the kind Angelo (Italian for angel)

But in heart.

He was her sword.

Thus, O cholestrol-covered buddy,

the tale

of such

an Epic Tragedy."

"Oh." I looked at the fellow.
Then I grabbed his arm.
"An epic tragedy that may be... but a far more miserable tragedy it may be

if you don't see a doctor."

"OH SCREW YOU, FATTY."

 

I was feeling whimsical. Do not judge me. Is there a hidden story there? I don't know. This isn't Inception. Dreams within dreams. Or maybe it is. Are you SURE you're not dreaming now? HORRRRR--

Water and Blood

Sigh. So much fear. So much pain. So much suffering. 

It's water and blood, folks.

Water and blood.