I'm Not Half-Boiled Anymore!

I have two things to blog about today. The first, would be about Puan Maha’s farewell party which happened yesterday. The second, is my birthday celebration at Sunway Pyramid, happened today, just a few hours ago.

Let’s start with Puan Maha’s party. The party was at 2.30PM, at a northern Indian cuisine restaurant (I think) in Sect 14 going by the name House of Pakeeza. Weird name, nice food. And we all know (well, those who do know me) how much I adore food. Especially good food. It was a fancy, quiet place. Atmosphere was quite pleasant. We all sat down and ate nasi briyani, mutton, tandoori chicken (with some green paste which I know wasn’t wasabi but tasted great anyway) and papadums. Ah, fresh papadums. And they kept piling up on them salty crackers. Puan Maha related to us some funny stories while we ate and laughed. One included on Aaron (2008-2009 Head Prefect) discovering his interest in photography by taking pictures of girls at public places.

Then came the photo session. Ishaq, Aqeemul and I brought our cameras which everybody played with them (Jiunn Jie tinkered around with Ishaq’s, mine was reserved by Hui Jan, and Aqeemul’s was passed around like a rental). One-on-one with Puan Maha, single session, group gender photos, and one that included Khairul blocking Puan Maha in one gigantic hug. Go fat guys! Whoop!

Presents were… well, unique. Girls got Puan Maha a makeshift tiara. Chee Hoe got her a scythe. The scythe did emphasise her manner as a Grim Reaper… and me, Ishaq and Herman pooled our money to buy her a disco ball! Puan Maha was grateful, thanking us for it being ‘big’. Yeah, and we told anyone who asked that Herman donated the ball.

The bill situation was fun too, though I won’t talk about that tale too much. But in the end, it was all manageable. And guess what? Puan Maha still had one more week of staying here after the holidays before she leaves for Sabah. Another great whoop!

Pictures will be at my Facebook page under the album Lawgiver’s Farewell.

What? I wanted a nice name for the album.

Anyway…

Thanks to Maddie Tsl and Yap Ee Leng, two of my close buds, they have pushed me to orchestrate my birthday celebration. Yes, everyone had fun, but let it be known, I am such a terrible planner. The only get-togethers I can organise is a get-together-alone.

Yeah, that was a good one right there, wasn’t it??

So, guest list was 11 people. Actually there were more, but couldn’t make it. It’s okay, fellas, I had a nice time. Just sorry you couldn’t come.

Arrived at Sunway Pyramid at 10.20AM, thanks to Felix (he can DRIVE). On the way, we got a lil bit lost and some minor swearing, accidental mind you, because I messed up my letters in the words ‘’Parking Fee’’. So me, Maddie, Imran and Felix.

While Imran tended to his girlfriend, also a guest on my list, me, Maddie and Felix met up with Ee Leng. Bought movie tickets too for the 1.30PM showtime of the A-Team. Then began the hunt for my clothes. Maddie (acting like the big sister I never had, or worse, my mom) wanted to get me new clothes since she said I looked horrible in hoodies.

I love hoodies. Love. Hoodies.

In the end I got a shirt bearing the words, ‘’I’M A VIRGIN (This is a very old T-shirt)’’. The trend was not new, but I loved it. Thanks Maddie.

Then we met up with Ishaq (enjoying hot chocolate outside Starbucks), Afiq and Sofiah and Tharini! Maddie wanted to get Tharini a dress too, but I didn’t see what she bought. Too busy looking at the guitar pick that Ishaq bought for me with the laughing skull. Loved it, man.

After a few more hours of walking around Sunway, talking, making jokes (Afiq insulted Felix; something about cats) then it was time for the movie! That was my first mess-up! There were 11 people! But ta-da, I bought ten tickets.

Me, being noble (or foolish, like the others called it), let myself be left out and let the others watch. But when Ee Leng SMS’ed me, saying there were a lot of vacant seats, me, being sneaky, sneaked through the cinema exit door, entered the theatre and watched the A-Team for free. Yeah, I was a couple of seats away from the gang. But hey, it was FREE!

The A-Team was awesome. Coolest movie ever. The action, humour, drama were all mixed in one blockbusting margarita. Don’t forget the explosions. Gotta love ‘em. And the part where the tank flew out of the sky, landing in some poor German fisherman’s pond, cheating by killing fish with dynamite.

After the movie, we had trouble finding lunch. Lala’ed here, lala’ed there, and finally settled at a place called Sakae Sushi. Nice place, nice food, amazing prices. Amazingly pricey.

Ate, laughed, and almost panicked when Afiq wanted to order a Sake bottle which cost RM25.90. Price wasn’t so bad. Heh.

Ishaq and Felix had to go early. Thanks dudes, glad you two came! Imran and his girlfriend resumed dating, I didn’t mind. Go on, have fun! It is my birthday! Ee Leng had to go too after lunch. Aaw. Thanks, sister! Afiq went to buy more movie tickets because he wanted to watch Karate Kid with his sister. So me, Azim, Tharini and Sofiah went to archery. I messed up again, almost killing a guy when my arrow bounced off. Sorry, sir. My bad. But I got one in the middle. Ehem. Bull’s eye. And that’s no bullshit.

Soon, Azim had to leave. Thanks for coming, Carrots! Then Imran and his girl had to leave. I say. Well, it was fun having you both here! Afiq mysteriously disappeared. Suspected he went to the arcade because the cinema was near to the arcade.

So I was the only guy with Maddie, Sofiah and Tharini! Lucky me! We went to the Coffee Bean and the first hour was fun when Tharini developed some foam-mustache from her cappuccino. Then Sofiah did some weird experiments with the leftovers. Turned it semi-solid, semi-liquid. And for the next hour, the girls talked about boys, while I sank lower beneath the table. There was something about whales having intercourse resulting in the salt level in the sea. Okay, I’m terrified.

Too soon when everything had to come to an end. Maddie and I had to go home because she left her chocolate for Happy Father’s Day at Imran’s freezer for safekeeping (that’s a story for another time). Said our goodbyes, hugged and pounded knuckles with everyone and off to home with a taxi. Dropped by Imran’s place for the choc, his maid was so nice, and then walked back to my place, where Maddie’s dad was waiting to pick her up. One more goodbye and here I am in front of the laptop typing it out.

Extraordinary. Hope you all had fun, because I did. The whole outing was… what’s the word for it? Hui Jan, do you have a word that can somehow explain this very euphoric feeling? Well, if you do, then that’s the word. To those who don’t know, ask her.

Thank you, Maddie, Ee Leng, Azim, Ishaq, Felix, Afiq, Sofiah, Tharini, Imran and Illyana! Thanks for looking up the word, too, Hui Jan!

Thank you all for making my breakthrough from half-boiled teenager to 17-YEAR-OLD half- boiled teenager into something *insert Hui Jan’s word here*! Thank you!

Thanks for visiting! WHOOP!

The Prologue

A couple of hours before Puan Maha's farewell party. To those who are clueless, Puan Maha is my school's discipline teacher. And the prefectorial board teacher advisor.

And to those clueless people, yes, I am a prefect. Unbelievable eh?

I was chatting with an old friend the other day. And when I told her I was on the right side of the law (sort of) as opposed to my days in Perak, she went;

'That's amazing! I mean, you used to diss them!'

To which I happily replied...

'Well, if you can't beat em, join em!''

Which all brings back memories of my days as a newbie in the very, very different SMK Sultan Abdul Samad. For one, the prefects are quite... how to say.... brutal face first. Well, prefects at my old school were brutal too, but somehow SMK Sultan Abdul Samad's prefects are more like organized-brutal.

''If the student has touched or in any way assaulted you, you may punch him in the face OR kick him in the balls. Executing both counter-attacks may result in your suspension from the Prefectorial Board.''

Well, they don't have that in the rule book, but if they did, I'd be pretty happy. But more or less, it's like that.

So the real question is... how did I come from hating prefects... to love being one of them? Was it the suit? The power? The less-restricting leash of school rules we have on us? (personally, I like the uniform. Blazers are hot. Hot, I tell you.)

What could I say? I signed up when they were recruiting newbies for a joke. For a joke. And then I saw the whole structure of the prefects. The way they were intergrated into the school, the amount of just power they exert on the students and the automatic image you receive from school faculty by just being a prefect. And I was starstruck.

So I worked my ass off as a junior recruit. Wasn't easy. But it was worth it.

Then after almost year serving under the lawkeepers' organisation, I saw the grittier, darker and more seclusive nature of the prefects. The way you have to turn and twist and that almost impossible-to-resist itch to join in school politics. That image you received of being a golden role model... you have to uphold it because anyone could break it down even after a small misstep.

But hey, no one said being a prefect was easy. And everyone who knows me will know how I deal with such stuff. Joke around the situation. Student enraged and wants to beat your ass after school? No problem. ''Can we reschedule? I got prefects meeting.'' Superior blaming you for doing something wrong? ''Sorry, I'll try harder next time. By the way, I saw how you *insert an embarassing incident in which your superior was involved* and I'd like to help you with it...''

That's how I deal with it and though it has some minor setbacks in the past, I've gotten through it with sheer-- no, not willpower, but rather wit power.

I've been a prefect for almost two years now. Tiring, yes. Looking forward to retirement? Yes. Not going to miss prefectship? No. I am going to miss it. Yes, sounds lame, but being a prefect has made me a better person. And look how much friends in law enforcement I've made.

It's farewell to Puan Maha and retirement for the Form 5 prefects in a few more weeks. Bye for now!

Bobby Blues

Sorry. I dunno why I said that. So sudden, so out of the blue. So... well, not to say spontaneous. But then again I don't know who to say sorry to.

I got nothing to blog about, actually. And this is sure as hell not a retarded version of Blues' Clues, so no worries.

I've never actually believed in the blues. I mean, what? ''Hey man, what's up?'' ''Oh hi, oh nothing much, just feeling blue,'' ''what the f*ck, is that some sort of disease?''

Oh, ignorant me.

Yeah, once I knew what the blues were, I didn't believe crap out of it. It's not actually feeling sad, and it's not actually feeling like those emo-goths, but the blues were kind of a stand-alone term.

Well, now that I've been infected with such, I came to believe it. I dunno why. There I was, eating a cracker, and whoosh, it came down like rain on me. And the annoying thing is I don't know why I'm feeling so damn blue.

Funny thing is blue is a different meaning with the Brits. ''Oh, feeling blue,'' ''Oh my god, you watch pornography, you bloody fool!'' Oh yeah, I love the way they talk. OK, I'm not gonna go deeper on porno in the UK.

Then I have those self-analysis kind of tests, you know. Asking myself questions in my head. It's like your very own psychiatrist within your consciousness. ''How are we today?'' ''Oh good, good. Can't wait for our session to begin.'' ''Oh and by the way, you left the toilet seat open, Mom's not gonna be happy about that.''

Gosh, what's wrong with me? Lame jokes, man. Lame!

Ehem. Anyway. Started with one question: anything bothering you?

Why, yes.

Do you know why?

No, and if I do, I won't be here talking to myself.

Do you have the smallest of clues of why you are experiencing the blues?

Erm. Sort of. But not sure.

And why so?

Because this is the part where you come in and tell me if I'm right or wrong.

Ah. Care to elaborate your suspicions first?

Well... I think it's girls. But I dunno if that's believable. I mean, I've never had trouble with 'em before...

Until now.

Right. Until now.

Precisely.

So what now?

See, this is why self-psychiatric help is free. Because it only helps you identify the problem. The rest... well, the rest is up to you, dear fellow.

Okay. That was really helpful. Really. But why do you talk with a British accent?

I'm gonna spare details. What goes on in my mind is possibly very disturbing for some. So I've been having those kind of sessions with myself almost everyday. And it ends up with the same thing.

Don't you get it, man? GIRLS! Good grief, get a hold of yourself and do SOMETHING about it!

Well, I was pretty smart to know that it didn't mean I had to go online and check those kind of websites...

So what was it? What was my problem with girls? I don't hate them. No, I admire them. Especially the hot ones. If I weren't lazy, I'd include a picture of me jiggling my eyebrow in a most suggestive way right here.

I don't think they hate me. Do they? I get along fine with them. Always kept my dirty jokes in line with them. Maybe some girls harbor some hatred towards me in a spiritual way? And my spiritual antenna is picking up the backlash of that hate while they hide it behind their faces.

Because let's face it, when girls say something, they mean something else different entirely. It's not like guys. When they say something, they actually mean that. I know you've probably heard of it, but let's just hit that refresh button on the window toolbar...

Guy: I'm gonna watch football.
Real meaning: I'm gonna watch football.

Girl: I prefer to shop at Versace's than Levi's...
Real meaning: Screw Levi's. I wanna shop at Versace's. NOW.

But one thing about girls, well they know how to break someone down gently. While guys can be extremely blunt and hurt someone's feelings, girls can do it gently. I admit girls can do that.

Why the heck am I getting off topic?

Wait. I don't have a topic to begin with anyway.

Maybe I'm being paranoid. I am quite paranoid. But that doesn't justify this, this... blue feeling. Gah.

The conclusion I can come up with from this meaningless rant... after several pointless hours of thinking and more hours of more pointless thinking... when I could've done the dishes, send my prefect blazer to the dry-clean shop or put down the toilet seat...

It all spirals out of control and all down onto my own messed up feelings which I'm relating in a this somehow-very-gay post. I can imagine Ishaq saying, ''Talking about feelings now, are we? Nice. Very gay. Very you.'' Well, just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon...

Is it because of the girl I like? I mean... I've liked her for a long time already. I dated with this hot chick from Perak to get over her. And it didn't actually work out. Broke off after a month. Maybe because long-distance-relationships don't work and because when I'm with that girl, I keep thinking of another face. Boy, Perak girl must hate my guts now.

I'm sorry Perak girl. I won't say your name to protect your interests. I don't want your friends going like, ''Oh, so that's your loser of an ex-boyfriend. Girl, you suck. Why pick a prick like him?''

And to protect my interests too. I don't want your big-bodied brother (I shit you not on that)
coming to my doorstep on a sunny Sunday afternoon with a crowbar and a gang of angry Mexican cholos carrying around Uzi submachine guns.

Anyway, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to use you as a smokescreen, that was so of an asshole of me. I don't think you can stop hating my guts, but just know I am sincerely sorry about it. KL guys ain't that reliable, you know... not actually boyfriend material.

And to that girl I like... well, you'd probably hate my guts too if you knew I was liking you. You're a great girl and I was lucky to know you. No, I'm not gonna reveal names here. That would destroy me somehow and though this girl doesn't have connections with Mexican cholos, I'd really like to bury this one with me.

I really hope I can somehow forget it and move on. And goodness help me, get these blues off me. Get the f... never mind. See ya.

Citra Warna was a BLAST!

Hey guys! Sorry late update. Exams you know, those papers on your school desk which somehow challenges your mentality. Studying myself to death. Well, maybe not death, but I have been studying. A bit.

Anyway... Citra Warna. Yeap. Awesome. Terrific. Superb. Amazing. Spectacular. Web of... sorry, getting carried away. I'm mentioning all of Spider-Man's comic series (to those who don't know... it's the Amazing Spider-Man, the Spectacular Spider-Man, and the Web of Spider-Man.)

Alright, off topic there. Yeah, the folks of SAS had a damn good time at Dataran Merdeka that fateful night of 22nd of May 2010. We danced, laughed, cheered, partied like there was no tomorrow, tho there wasn't any drinking, unless you count the mountains of mineral water bottles we downed that night. It was a cool night, but we were sweating and boy, did we smell.

Puan Rema said to us after the event was over: 'now you have that empty feeling in your lives.'

Well, the Form 5s certainly miss those moments. Dancing in front of the Agong and on live national TV! Some Form 4s aren't doing so well. Pity those fellas. You should see their Facebook status updates.

Yeah, Citra Warna was really a fun time in our lives. A good experience for all of us. Look out for Citra Warna 2011, eh?

Thanks for visiting!

Ahaha what a day la

Can I say I'm tired?

I can? Thank you.

I'm tired. Very. Citra Warna is very taxing. Just had our first latihan pukal today and whoah, was it bombastic. Yeah, and tiring.

But fun. All the hot girls. Heh. Thanks for visiting.

Eternal Spring (Relax, Ladies and Gentlemen)

I came back from school quite late today. 7-ish, because I was lazy to leave school after 5 (that's when the Citra Warna practice ends). I'm not complaining. I had a nice B-Ball game while waiting. Tho going home was a pain, I managed to get a taxi and arrive home before my mom skinned-- I mean, scolded me.

Naturally, I was exhausted. Walking for 30 minutes, then waiting for another 30 minutes while I fruitlessly try to flag down a taxi. And in the middle of it, some bugger on a bike passed me on the road with his middle finger sticking up.

WTF, man. I think I know you, but c'mon, wouldn't a simple 'Hi' or 'Hello' be fine? You had to flip me off. Does your dad own the road? Or is it somehow listed in your grandmother's last will? I mean, a 'Hey, asshole' would've just been fine too. But no, it had to be your middle finger. What I would do to snap it off.

Oh well, at least I didn't see your hell-spawned face, so that was good. I mean, you were obeying road rules by wearing a helmet (despite having no manners at all) and I'm happy for you (drop dead, man, everyone will be happy).

Okay, out of topic there. What I wanted to say is that as soon as I got home, I did a quick change of clothes and flopped on the bed. It was seven at that time. When I woke up... it was already 12.30pm. I know, wicked, right? I was lucky because I haven't prepared my school stuff yet.

After all stuff was done and done, I checked the Net. And boy, I found out some people out there are not having a good week. Take deep breaths, people. You won't like that negative energy accumulating in your body.

Do it the way Ip Man does it. Spiritually, like his Wing Chun fighting style.

Yeah, Ip Man rules. Oh, and as I was saying...

Quoted from Wikipedia, everyone's favourite online encyclopedia;

Wing Chun (Chinese: 詠春; pinyin: Yǒng chūn; literally "Eternal Spring"), also romanized as Ving Tsun or "Wing Tsun" (and sometimes substituted with the characters for "eternal springtime") is a concept-based Chinese martial art and form of self-defense utilizing both striking and grappling while specializing in close-range combat.

So think of it as like this quote, ''When life gives you lemons... you make lemonade.'' Yeah, the Eternal Spring martial art of fighting is similar. You take an attack, but instead of taking it to the gut, you grapple onto the attack, divert it from yourself and use that opening to counter attack. Smart, eh?

So when something bad happens, you do an Ip Man. Take it, block it, divert it, and strike back. All logic and timing. Girls should know this, since Wing Chun (from what I heard) is used mostly by female martial artists... and some feminists I know. Few men like Ip Man use this style and when you do... well, you get Bruce Lee's grandmaster of kung fu.

Okay, I'm getting off topic again. But you readers know what I mean. Take it slow and everything will turn out right. You just have to suck it up and bear with it. When the time's right, you seize that golden opportunity and show everyone that you can be the frickin' best.

Thanks for reading!

The Terrible Turkeys Band

Yeah, so what started as a lazy Labour Day for me (no tuition, scored some extra hours of sleep) turned out to be the next step in the formation of a four-piece band.

Yeap, Imp sms'ed me the other day saying he needed another singer to perform in a small event ''Crescent Day''. So I said sure, tho rehearsals can't be on the next day (which was Saturday, Labour Day) because my dad would be home.

So back to the present time, I'm busy listening to some punk-infested music orchestrated by Green Day when I got a call from Imp. Note that my parents were out buying groceries at that time.

Imp: So dude, you can keluar tak?
Me : No, man, sorry. My dad just came back from Ipoh. Family time, y' know? (My dad was
working full time in Ipoh, Perak)
Imp: Really? Because, you know... we're just outside your house.
Me : WTF?

There was Imp, Ishaq and Felix waiting outside with Felix's Kancil car. I was like, ''WTF?!?''. And yeah, I just followed them to Imp's house. I sms'ed my mom that I was going to Imp's place... ''for a short while''.

So when we got to Imp's house, Ishaq started playing ''Stairway to Heaven'' with Imp's piano when he noticed he could manipulate the keys into sounding just like the song. Bravo, Ishaq. Damn cool, because Ishaq didn't know anything about pianos. Felix joined in while Imp explained to me the details of the performance.

We were going to sing ''Carry You Home'' by James Blunt. Imp will be playing the rhythm with his acoustic, Ishaq with the lead and his electric guitar and Felix with the bass, albeit using his acoustic guitar with an audio jack. They needed a singer who could sing low because James Blunt always knew how to hit high and low notes with beautiful melody.

Well, I'm no James Blunt... but I think I'd do pretty well. Nah, just joking. Yeah, so I'm the singer. And before we knew it, we had like a four-piece band.

Just when we about to rehearse... my dad called.

''You had your ''short while''. Now, come home. Your aunt's on the way.''

Oh well. So much for a rehearsal. So Felix gave me a ride back to my house. Imp tagged along while Ishaq stayed and mauled--I mean, played his piano. I got back home before my parents did from their grocery shopping and then spent the entire evening help my mom make burritos until my aunt came. Spicy, I might add. Very.

Imp arranged another rehearsal. Monday, after school. Wooh. Let's hope we can pull this off before Crescent Day.

Thanks for visiting! See ya!

PS: I'd really like the band name to be the ''Terrible Turkeys''.