Monday, February 21, 2011

Psychometrics: Attachment, Caring and Intimacy


Okay. I've been talking nonsense for the past few months. I never really chose on a topic to blog about. Time to get back on track. Time to show my followers down there, right hand-side panel there, why they followed my blog.


Because I talked interesting crap.

But before that, allow me to express my insanity over what's to come in the next two weeks or so.

...

HOLY SHIT SPM RESULTS ARE GOING TO COME OUT SOON, I AM SOOOOO SCREWED, I DIDN'T CARE THEN, BUT CRAP, I CARE ABOUT IT NOW, IT'S LIKE DOOMSDAY AFTER BREAKFAST AND WHY THE HECK IS EVERYONE AT THE OFFICE MAKING A FUSS OUT OF IT, I'M THE ONE WHO'S GONNA PICK UP THE RESULTS, MY As ARE SOOOOOOO GONE--

...

Okay. That felt much better. *Phew*

Now, now. What do we have for today?

Right. Psychometrics; and its role in attachment, caring and intimacy.

Okay, okay. To put in a simpler way... I'm talking about love.

*audience goes ''awwwwwww crap'' *

Aw, don't worry. I'll make it less tormenting as we go along. I know you're interested. So, go on.

Now, I've explained about love before. I think it was from this lil post right here. Here's a more definite take on this world-class celebrated emotion.

Taken from everybody's favourite website, Wikipedia--

Love is a universal concept related to affinity, with different interpretations depending on the point of view taken (personal, philosophic, artistic, religious, scientific). In the Western World, love is considered an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.[1] In philosophical context, love is a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection. In some religious contexts, love is not just a virtue, but the basis for all being, as in the Christian phrase, “God is love” or Agape in the Canonical gospels.[2] Love may also be described as actions towards others (or oneself) based on compassion.[3] Or as actions towards others based on affection.[4]


So basically, love is something of a language. Some would say language of the heart. I'd partially agree on that, because love is something that can be felt by one or more hearts.


But love is also something of an emotional pain-- the raw want of to love, and to be loved in return.
Especially if two hearts feel the same, the pain would be more constant. You know someone out there has the same feelings for you, but you also know environmental (or in most cases, social) causes that love to be difficult to be achieved.

You get stories spun out of this relative fact, and there's Romeo and Juliet as proof.

However, the pain is more evident if only one heart feels the emotion while receiving nothing in return. The basis for it is still the pain of want, but coupled up (no pun intended there) with the pain of rejection... we have what the world calls heartbreaks.

Of course, the masses would agree with me when I say that the pain of heartbreaks is worst than the pain of wanting love. There's also some individuals who'd like to take their heartbreaks to the maximum, say the tragedy of Alviss Kong.

No disrespect to the late Mr. Kong, but suicide was never really the answer. Yes, he was rejected by a girl who he had claimed to be in love with, but in the end, after releasing himself from emotional pain with physical pain (which evidently lead to his death) he had not only hurt (killed, actually) himself, but his family, friends, and the girl whom he harbored a crush on.

Imagine how the girl is coping with the guilt now. Survivor's guilt, dear readers.

It has been proven many times that when someone loses faith in love, he loses faith in everything. His job, his dreams and even religion. Very, very dangerous outcome, this is. One has to be optimistic no matter how grim things are.

Never lose hope. Yes, that's what I say to everyone. It's hard, I know. I've lost hope so many times, I always felt hypocritical when I say this to someone else. But I try. And I'd like it if everyone else did. So much to do in this life!

Back to the matter at hand, love grows at a steady rate, especially if the situation -- as people say -- clicks. Based on psychometrics, there are three levels of growth: attachment, where someone latches a piece of their feelings for another on a sub-conscious level. Caring, when the person's feelings are stimulated with emotions such as worrying or concern for another and finally intimacy; where that person feels a unique bond with another, and it's not individual, but shared by both, supported by the first two levels of growth.

Most of you will probably wonder why I'm just typing these facts out. But facts block the truth of one's heart, no? No one ever liked facts. Facts just provide the shadow of an inanimate object, to make it more believable in the real world, disregarding if people like it or not.

This includes love.

I'm saying love is a wonderful thing. Pure, ever-existing, and always the positive light in our dark universe. It can't be contaminated like power or wealth. It's a driving force in life, and pushes us to do things we normally hesitate to do. Achieving a dream, success in life... and finding someone to love.

But you can drown in it. Too much of a good thing, you see. People get beaten down by love everyday. Hearts get broken, tears are shed. It's not only romantic love, but family love as well. Impersonal love, where one loses aim in everything.

I know. I've heard. I've seen. I'm touched by their stories, and I feel for them. It hurts me as well, and I can do nothing but to console them. But I know they'll keep on going, with love as a driving force, to hope.

Hope for the best.

In reality, love kinda sucks. But people still go after it.

I wonder why.





No comments:

Post a Comment